Comments on: Wanted: Advice from Men http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/2009/04/05/wanted-advice-from-men/ Blogging about life as a midlife woman with one ex, three grown children, and an empty bed. Tue, 06 Oct 2009 01:07:46 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Ian http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/2009/04/05/wanted-advice-from-men/#comment-190 Ian Sun, 21 Jun 2009 11:02:30 +0000 http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/?p=100#comment-190 Seems to me that anyone, man or woman will make themselves available(within reason) to someone they are genuinely interested in. Rather than speculate why he is acting the way he is, let's just say I think you're reaction is correct- I just wonder what took you so long to get there. Also,I can assure you that this type of behaviour is not exclusive to one gender. Seems to me that anyone, man or woman will make themselves available(within reason) to someone they are genuinely interested in. Rather than speculate why he is acting the way he is, let’s just say I think you’re reaction is correct- I just wonder what took you so long to get there. Also,I can assure you that this type of behaviour is not exclusive to one gender.

]]> By: keith http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/2009/04/05/wanted-advice-from-men/#comment-150 keith Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:56:11 +0000 http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/?p=100#comment-150 I believe he is still involved with another woman/wife,maybe the dates coincide with spouse being away out of town.Did he offer his cell # if not stay clear.............. I believe he is still involved with another woman/wife,maybe the dates coincide with spouse being away out of town.Did he offer his cell # if not stay clear…………..

]]> By: Ace of Spades http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/2009/04/05/wanted-advice-from-men/#comment-149 Ace of Spades Sun, 19 Apr 2009 03:48:10 +0000 http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/?p=100#comment-149 I think Dennie is dead on the money. This guy is a few flakes short of a box. It does sound like you are, I hate to say it "filler". It sounds like he is already dating or in a relationship. His loss. I think Dennie is dead on the money. This guy is a few flakes short of a box. It does sound like you are, I hate to say it “filler”. It sounds like he is already dating or in a relationship. His loss.

]]> By: Graham http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/2009/04/05/wanted-advice-from-men/#comment-147 Graham Wed, 15 Apr 2009 22:18:28 +0000 http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/?p=100#comment-147 Hi I would like to give you a male insight into these charlatans that you seem to attract, if I may be so bold. It seems to me that these guys lack the bottle to take the risk and be themselves in front of a woman so they make an early exit as they don't want you to see their human shortcomings. I think that you would be much better with a true Scotsman like me I would get to know you over dinner and drinks and we could get real cosy on the couch xxx Hi I would like to give you a male insight into these charlatans that you seem to attract, if I may be so bold. It seems to me that these guys lack the bottle to take the risk and be themselves in front of a woman so they make an early exit as they don’t want you to see their human shortcomings. I think that you would be much better with a true Scotsman like me I would get to know you over dinner and drinks and we could get real cosy on the couch xxx

]]> By: colleen http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/2009/04/05/wanted-advice-from-men/#comment-143 colleen Thu, 09 Apr 2009 05:15:17 +0000 http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/?p=100#comment-143 How about this. A guy I knew did this as insurance against being alone...and admitted it. "I overbook on purpose, it keeps the depression and loneliness at bay." "I'm working on cutting back on the overbooking." How about this. A guy I knew did this as insurance against being alone…and admitted it. “I overbook on purpose, it keeps the depression and loneliness at bay.” “I’m working on cutting back on the overbooking.”

]]> By: dennie http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/2009/04/05/wanted-advice-from-men/#comment-139 dennie Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:47:31 +0000 http://blog.prime.lavalife.com/?p=100#comment-139 It sounds like he is already dating elsewhere and creating a coterie of 'potentials' on the side. By investing just 'enough but not too much', he can keep options open without actually being honest with anyone (including himself?). I think men and women do this in many areas of life (…I have a job but I’ll just go on that exploratory interview… I like this coffee-date friend but she tends to natter so I’ll just create a potential escape route…). However, in the dating arena, the falseness of the connection starkly stands out. With friends, potential lovers and even work associates, the truth is in the follow up to the initial connection. You were true to yourself and the connection. He has not shown any real investment in you in any context (beyond taking the first initiative). Connections fail all the time. It’s just silly when they fail because someone is too nervous to finish the initial gesture. It sounds like he is already dating elsewhere and creating a coterie of ‘potentials’ on the side. By investing just ‘enough but not too much’, he can keep options open without actually being honest with anyone (including himself?).

I think men and women do this in many areas of life (…I have a job but I’ll just go on that exploratory interview… I like this coffee-date friend but she tends to natter so I’ll just create a potential escape route…). However, in the dating arena, the falseness of the connection starkly stands out.

With friends, potential lovers and even work associates, the truth is in the follow up to the initial connection. You were true to yourself and the connection. He has not shown any real investment in you in any context (beyond taking the first initiative).

Connections fail all the time. It’s just silly when they fail because someone is too nervous to finish the initial gesture.

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